"what's so bad about a couch anyway?" - carrie bradshaw

it's 9pm on saturday night. i'm sitting on the couch in the house by myself. and i'm completely content. this doesn't happen all the time these days for me (both the night alone and the being completely content in that aloneness). but when it does happen it's like getting all green lights when you're running late. it's something that gives you that good soul feeling, something you hold on to. what's sad is that it used to always be the norm for me (being content to be alone with myself). what's happy is that it wasn't happening at all for a good chunk of time. at the point which i realized i wasn't going out tonight, that my panda is 1700 miles away, and that my girlfriends are all busy with life's responsibilities, i determined i would make tonight about me. so i picked up a stella and some chinese take-out, sat myself on the couch and selected sex and the city 2 from on-demand. nothing like a little carrie, samantha, miranda and charlotte to remind a girl why life is good. what i realized as i was sipping my beer and drooling over carrie's shoes is that i have everything i need in life. i have a God who is patient with me, i have amazing friends that STILL love me in spite of really knowing me, i have a man that craves my presence in his life and takes pleasure in who i am, i have a home where i feel safe, i have passion, and i have dreams. and those are all the very best things in the world. and that makes me content to sit on a couch and enjoy a movie i love with a delicious beer. all. by. my. self. :)

the past month has been THE month of birthdays for me (for the first time EVER). it has been one of those months when every week i've had a dinner or an outing or a cocktail for someone's birthday. besides it being out of the ordinary simply because i don't really know that many people, what also made it different was one birthday in particular - the 24th anniversaire of my crazy, lovely, wonderful friend imani. imani is...unlike most people i know, and perhaps if you ever meet her, you will understand what i mean. she has the ability to make eating a sandwich an emotional experience, and i don't mean that in a negative way. she is in tune with ALL her senses, and feels free to express every single one at every moment in grand fashion, every single day. to say she adds color to my life is to downplay - she is the enunciation to every syllable, the color saturation in every photograph - life with her is life in HD. and her birthday was not going to be any different. i expected grandeose celebrations, feasts of massive proportions, an entire week of festivities devoted to the day. in many ways, my friend stayed true to my expectations, but what i didn't count on was the lesson i was going to learn in all of it....of humility, of contentedness in the simple moments (il bel far niente), and of love that shares itself and casts out all the fears and troubles of life. while we did have multiple gatherings, rich with feasting and cocktailing and fancy dresses and dancing, the undercurrent of all of it was not the party itself. what met you at the door and kissed you farewell at the end of the night was the precious truth that we were celebrating a beautiful life, one that has transformed before our eyes, and has shown us what it looks like to celebrate yourself and share that celebration with others. i raise my glass to you, my sweet friend imani. your life inspires my own, and you teach me things when i least expect it.



garlic noodles and shrimp

mango and pomegranate sorbets...add vodka and enjoy!

pouring the birthday shots (and saving the environment)

yummy in my tummy...

haute couture, betches

cheers

let's dance!

nobody does it better

turn the lights down low